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You have reached the phone of Tony Stark, CEO of Stark International.

To schedule an appointment, please call my personal secretary, Mrs. Rennie, at this number: (XXX) XXX-XXXX
To schedule an interview, please contact the Stark International Department of Public Relations at the following number: (XXX) XXX-XXXX.

If you have information about some sort of cataclysmic disaster currently facing the human race, call the Avengers Hotline at (XXX) XXX-XXXX.
If you are calling just to feel important because you managed to get a hold of this number, go ahead and hang up now.
If you want to hear the sound of your own voice and are totally cool with the fact that I'll never listen to it, leave a message.

You have reached the invincible Iron Man.  I'm probably off saving some people and/or puppies and can't come to phone.  Try calling again when the world isn't in peril.  *pause*  In case you're wondering when the world isn't in peril, the answer is never.  

[Voice post]

Note to self: Quit making appointments. Never going to get anything done at this rate.

[Voice post. Voice is mechanized, as though being run through some sort of filter.]

I've been keeping up with a lot of the discussion going on around here for the past few days and I've noticed a few things that are frankly concerning.

Issue 1: People are fighting these things. Killing them, maybe? I don't know.

Now, if you have experience fighting supernatural/superpowered beings,it's fine that you want to fight. Hell, I'd ask you to fight. I'd ask you nicely and I'll get to that later. If you don't know what you're doing and you just think fighting monsters is cool, then you need to accept that its actually not cool. You can hurt yourself and you can hurt other people. And no one, not even the experienced people, are in any position to say that they won't. Fact: People make mistakes. The need to accept that they make mistakes and they need to accept that there is a such thing as being held accountable for your actions. So, consider this a warning: if people who don't have any business fighting zombies decided that the laws of common sense no longer apply to them, they will be detained for their own good. Don't think I can't do it.

Yeah, I know, common sense isn't a law. It should be.

Moving on, I have to say that I take an issue with killing these things at this point in time because we don't actually know what they are. These could be soulless monsters or they could be the risen dead or they could even be people who have gotten sick or cursed by magic. We don't know. Finding out is a priority.

Issue 2: We don't know where they are coming from. Yes, the graveyard. How delightfully B-Movie. There is a source. Cutting them off at the source makes a hell of a lot more sense than just hacking them to pieces as we find them.

That might be construed as advice. If you have no business fighting zombies, please forget you just heard that part. Thanks.

Right. Now. Investigations. Let's have one of those. What we are fighting, if its okay to kill them, if they CAN be killed, and how they got here is all important information. Think about it: We all come from different
universes with different populations. One man's zombie might be another man's president.

Issue 3: Local law enforcement? Anything? Come on, guys. Where I come from, the police get so annoyed when I do their job for them, but it never seems to stop them from being conspicuously absent when its time to throw it down.

All that said, I'm erring on the side of them being monsters. Better safe than sorry. People who want to make money fighting zombies? Prove to me that you belong on a task force and consider it done. My last roll call didn't go over very well, but now there's money on the table. And a shiny new headquarters. With a pool. And maybe a butler. I mean, why not? People love butlers.

Try to guess what I'm going to ask you to do. Try to guess. Come on.

[Voice post. The voice is slightly mechanized, as though it is being run through some sort of filter.]

Apparently, there is something about absolutely incredible one-of-the kind places that make people want to raise zombies. This is a pattern I'm seeing. Why, of all things, is that a pattern?

Better question: who else actually has first hand zombie fighting experience?

[Voice post.  Sounds of machinary whirring in the background.  Tony's tone is distracted, as most of his attention is likely being paid to the construction of some new whim of his.] 

The philosohy behind this little venture of mine is very simple.  Probably a lot simplier than anything else I've done in the past year, so hopefully, this one will actually work out the way I've envisioned it.

The anchor building in Cordova has been under construction for years--this idea actually came to me three or four years ago, but these things take planning and seed money, so I started the ball rolling and came back to it now that we're ready to really accomplish something.  I'd thought because of how long Stark International has its hands in the city that my repuation would have proceeded me, but the population around here appears to be fairly fluid.  People come, they go.  It's what I like about this city.  What with the year I've had, no reputation can be nice.

Come to think of it--it could have been five years ago.  Had something to do with Doctor Doom, anyway.

But that..that's irrelevant.  Here's my point--all these different worlds are linked to this city.  I don't even know how many worlds.  A lot.  And they all have their own problems and their own resources.  Now, I'm sure the resources of every world are more than enough to take care of its own problems.  But why wait?  Solutions happen when the right people and the right circumstances come together at the right time.  It's all chance.  Fate, even.  Some people would say fate.  I knew this guy--he was big on fate.  But he lost, so what does that tell you about fate?

Let's take out the part that's chance or fate or whatever you want to call it.  You don't have your solutions.  Great.  No, actually, that sucks.  For you.  For me, its an idea.  Because I'm sure someone, somewhere, in one of these other worlds has your solution.  Already has what you're looking for, what you need.   

So we just..we share.  That's what we're doing here.  Bring the good ideas to the places that need them.  

Stark out.